Red Underwear, Plus Useless Skills

A student informs me that if you are born in the Year of the Dragon, it is tradition in China for you to wear red underwear EVERY DAY of the year. If you are another year, it's okay, you can wear whatever you want to. And in Mexico, you wear red underwear on New Years Day for love in the new year. The U.S. is really missing out on the power of the red underwear. What do we get?? Let's make something up and go with it. Can't hurt. 

Addendum: my student said you wear red underwear all year long when it is your year, not just dragons. Now I know why so much red underwear was for sale around New Year! 

Calvin-klein-womens-365-briefs-red-underwear
Last week I had to get blood drawn and the nurse complimented me on the size of my veins. I guess it's true: it's what's on the inside that counts. Thing is, nurses always compliment me on this; I guess where other people have spaghetti noodle veins, I'm rocking macaroni elbow veins. 

I've been trying to think of a way to capitalize on my huge veins, but nothing is coming to mind. I'd also like to capitalize on the fact I can wiggle my eyeballs. If you have any ideas, let me know. I'll even wear red underwear while doing it, if that helps.